souvenir, souvenir

view of Annecy

the gang of Dijon

Madrid glass house

market in Marrakech

Florence

I miss it so

That's wassup

Awesome to see hip hop recovering

harvest moon in another universe

Sweet dreams

mine

kind of like a zombie beachy feel, but in winter

Now I am become

"... they don't listen properly to cries of pain when they come. They can't, of course. They're a peerage of tin ears. With such faulty equipment, with those ears, how can anyone possibly trace the pain, by sound and quality alone, back to its source?"
From Seymour: An Introduction by J.D. Salinger

I only hope to express or create impressions of what resounds inwardly, to become a true seer, to let out a howl of pain that would float on in the universe for at least a moment.
In the meantime, though, I can only create a bunch of shit.

"But where does by far the bulk, the whole ambulance load, of pain really come from? Where must it come from? Isn't the true poet or painter a seer? Isn't he, actually, the only seer we have on earth?"

Bowie love

living with boys

I've come to terms with being a girl as most girls have, will, must. It has made me love myself, hate myself, love myself again, and hate everyone around me. It's complex and violent and messy as hell and really beautiful and brilliant when it's raw.

Saez's controversial album's controversial cover

The existence of RookieMag is amazing for so many different reasons; one article in particular made me revisit memories of living in France a couple of years ago, and my first encounters with the more severe and aggressive forms of male courtship and attention. These anxieties are real, man.

Ohhh I want you more than anyone ever wanted anyone before

qu'est-ce qui me perturbe
je deviens de plus en plus separee, exclue de moi-meme - ces derniers temps, il y en a des parties qui sont particulierement negilgees - le francais me manque, mon anciennne vie me manque - j'aime pas me sentir vulnerable a tous ces changements, toutes ces forces, tous ces mouvements et ces vents et ces vagues et ce putain de connard me hante.

baise moi

le désir

je ne veux pas la perdre. je LE veux. j'ai faim. c'est confus.

jusqu'ici tout va bien. jusqu'ici tout va bien. jusqu'ici...

Bon bah ça s'est arreté quasiment tout seul. génial. oh la peine. la haine.

c'est l'histoire d'une fille qui tombe d'un immeuble de 50 étages.

Come here baby, let me kiss you like a boy does

ahhh c'est ça le sentiment de culpabilité

regarde-moi cette merde d'une vie. c'est incroyable que je puisse trahir ma meilleure amie tout en sentant absolument rien. oh putain comme mon français a empiré. je peux même plus m'exprimer en anglais, faut oublier le français... je ne peux même plus m'exprimer. je le fais encore et encore et je m'arrête pas, je veux même pas l'essayer. je n'veux que continuer. et puis après, bien bien après, c'est là où je me sens enfin coupable, une anxiété nerveuse et insupportable, c'est chiant, QUE c'est chiant. merde alors. que vaisje faire. je vais continuer. je ne veux que continuer. valoir? vouloir? c'est quoi ces mots. suis je qu'une pute? c'est incroyable. comme je me sens absolument rien. comme je suis seule. putain

Paris

I miss your streets that reek of piss and corpses
littered with wandering homeless insane
your quartiers with race wars
your quartiers with racial harmony
I miss your arches
your sculptures
your structures
your buildings
your boulevards
your snobs
I miss your cafes flooded with debates
I miss your raleurs always protesting
I miss your fatal moto crashes
I miss crying in your metro
I miss ignoring your beggars

Wigs

 

A small update: I am back in the Cleveland area to get signed up to school, to visit family and friends, and to wait for Antoine to attain his visa and to come to the US. Then we will move to Chicago for a certain amount of time...

In the meantime, I am having fun. And I don't know how to make a looping picture slide thing, haha. Well, I tried.

Anyway anyway

This vacation is really nice, I feel like it is way more of a vacation than last summer when I was working those crummy jobs.

I have finally finished recovering from the French holiday celebrations... after two meals consisting of six courses and six varietiesof wine to go with them each, I felt like I had been hit by a train.

And what about Italy... Florence was great, it's an absolutely beautiful city, and really centered around its museums and history and art... I got to see the statue of David by Michelangelo which is astounding and breath-taking in person, like when you see the Eiffel Tower, or the Sacre Coeur. You have the pounding heart and the wide eyes. Something so universally recognized and known by everyone, so typical in picture but much more in person. It's interesting and fun seeing all of the differences in architecture and color and trends and people as well... I think I appreciated the scooters the most. One day I will have my vespa.

trip to Florence

ponte vecchio, duomo, alley, florence at sunset

trips and departures

After two weeks of packing up, moving out and travel, I am a bit too tired and overwhelmed to make a real post... until I receive all of the pictures, this will just have to do:

A view of Florence from the garden terrace

Noi Albinoi

This film is one of many that I discovered this year thanks to the campus library's DVD section, that will surely remain one of my favorites.

It takes place in a small Icelandic village isolated due to the snow and mountains, and revolves around the life of a young albino guy in high school, a genius slacker, and his desire to escape from his spiritually, mentally, physically claustrophobic and constraining environment.

It is an amazingly beautiful film, darkly hilarious, dramatic, sad, moving, inspiring. The colors and landscape are brilliant, symbolic and striking. The soundtrack is perfect and original, sticks in your head. I loved it, and highly recommend it.

when it's cold outside...

Antoine and me

I forgot about this one... :)